||[May. 17th, 2008|01:21 pm]
Slash Victims - Have they slashed you, too?
Once and for all, my eyes are brown. They're not whiskey-colored or chocolately. Brown, damn it! B-R-O-W-N!|
But, I do have to say that all those writer's are doing a good job describing my body. I am fine specimen of manhood.
If there were a way to do a voice post comment, you would hear me snorting with laughter. Fine specimen of manhood? Some of us have seen you naked and know better.
If the two of you want an impartial 3rd opinion, please let me know. I'd be happy to give you a frank opinion of your 'manhood'.
I would gladly offer my assistance as well.
You do know I'm reading this thread too, don't you?
No problem! You can come too. Bring the measuring tape. And possibly the stopwatch.
At least people know what colour your eyes are. I have had - on any given day - blue eyes, green eyes, gray eyes and hazel eyes. From one particularly bad writer, all four in one fic.
Additionally, no one seems to give a damn much about my body. They're far more concerned with my suits and this theoretical 'cute suit' that is rumored to exist somewhere.
If you think you have trouble, try having 10 distinct different bodies in your past. 10 different hairstyles, ten different pairs of eyes, heck, even 10 accents.
What's worse, is when someone's known you in at least two different incarnations and keeps implying the other one was far more attractive than the current one.
At least people know you have eyes.
For me? It's all about the hair. Seriously. Whole fics have been written about my hair having a mind of it's own. It communicates and everything.
Talk about disturbing.
No kidding! Mine are always aqua or turquoise or lapis or gray or azure or cerulean or midnight or steel or persian or periwinkle or sapphire or indigo or cornflower or cobalt or ultramarine.
But you know what? They’re actually green.
Hey, you think that’s bad? Here’s what I recently read about me:
“Blair’s eyes riveted on Jim’s sculpted features only briefly before they tumbled down his face onto Jim’s sizable manhood.”
At least your eyes stay in your head. Mine pop out and land in people’s crotches.
I read that. Not so hawt.
And apparently attach pieces of metal to each other.
If they were red we could call you Rosie the Riveter.
Excuse me, but about the time you all get fics written about nothing but your lazy eye? Then you get to bitch.